we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Randomize
