my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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