I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
The air was thick with penises
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
