whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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