i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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