Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
