She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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