He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
