I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize