I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
