i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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