I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
