I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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