Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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