You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
