he puts the penis in happiness.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
