I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
