Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
