I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
