eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
This baby is an asshole
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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