Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
