You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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