I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
