Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
