Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
