pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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