eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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