i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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