its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
