guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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