Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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