If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
