Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Randomize