I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
