you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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