When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
