didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize