Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
