What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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