so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
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