don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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