Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
is wine microwaveable?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
