erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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