Taylor Swift is so right about you.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
