But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize