How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
