I feel like I'm in dance class right now
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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