Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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