i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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