True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
MIDGETS
????
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
