I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
