I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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