I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
