so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
