**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
