is your mom at the bar?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
