I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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