Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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