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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with

  (217): View more from Illinois

  well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

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• (760): View more from California

  dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.

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